Download French Fried: one man's move to France with too many animals by Chris Dolley PDF

By Chris Dolley

Animals behaving badly, different people's misfortunes and the main extraordinary actual crime tale ever. overseas bestseller, French Fried, is the regrettably real account of Chris Dolley's first 8 months in France and has been defined as 'A yr in Provence with omit Marple and Gerald Durrell.

Just while Chris and Shelagh imagine not anything extra may be able to get it wrong, they notice that Chris's identification has been stolen and their lifestyles discount rates - the entire cash from their apartment sale in England that used to be going to finance their new existence in France - had disappeared. A checking account were opened in Chris's identify in Spain to take the proceeds.

Then they're deserted through the police forces of 4 nations who all insist the crime belongs in an individual else's jurisdiction. The French say it's an Irish crime as that's the place the money was once held. The Irish say it's French as that's the place all of the correspondence got here from. The British say it's not anything to do with them even though...

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Guitar solos. * ** Why do Heavy Metalers wear spiked wristbands? I. To tell right from left . 2. They haven't figured out what watches are for. 3. To scratch their balls. 4. To pick pimples. 5. To fi st-fuck their women.

A mangy cur. * ** What do you call a Punk who marries a chimpanzee 1 A social climber. 51 Why did the Punk carve his name in his chest with a but~her knife? So he wouldn't forget it. *** What's it called when one Pun k licks the scalp of another? Sk in head. *** What's underwear for a Punk? Scabies and head lice. * ** Na me a Punk Rocker who lives on the cutting edge of nothingness'! Neal Lisem . * ** What d o you get when yo u cross a folk legend wi th a Punk R ocker? Johnny R o tten Appleseed .

Chip off the old cock. *** What's the number-one sexually transmitted disease among Preppies? \1 igraines. *** Why is it that so many Preppie men have a masochistic streak? It all started with Mummy's spankings. *** What's the difference between Preppie girls and Preppie boys? Coming out and cuming in . * * * What are a group of Preppies at a round-ta ble discussion? Circle jerks. * * * How do Preppie men do oral sex? With a stiff upper lip. * * * \Vhat's the number-one argument aga inst Preppies?

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