Download God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, by Darrell Hammond PDF

By Darrell Hammond

A uncooked, poignant, and infrequently hilarious glance contained in the lifestyles and brain of an American comedian icon

From his harrowing formative years packed with actual and emotional abuse, to a life of alcoholism and self-mutilation, psychiatric hospitalizations and misdiagnoses, to the height of repute and good fortune because the longest-tenured solid member of Saturday evening Live (where his hilarious dead-on impressions of invoice Clinton, Dick Cheney, Chris Matthews, and 100 different favorite figures ushered him to the height of stardom), Darrell Hammond delves into the darkest corners of his existence, either in entrance of and in the back of the digital camera, with brutal honesty and fierce comedian wit.

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Extra info for God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live, and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem

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No," said the first one, " But last week my wife won twice! " Why can't Ohio men cheat on their wives? They can't sign their names on the motel register! r •t Do you know what they call grave robbing in Ohio? Date night! " asked his friend. '' *** What do you get when you cross a gorilla and an Ohioan? A retarded gorilla!! *** Why can't Ohio girls give good head? They can't get their lips over the guy's ears! *** The Ohio couple were driving to Columbus. As they drove along he put his hand on her knee.

Their lobotomy scar!! *** Two Ohio men were walking along Lake Erie when suddenly a seagull flying overhead dropped a load right in the one man's eye. "I'll go get some toilet paper,'' his friend offered. ''Don't bother,'' said the man. "He's probably miles away by now. " 29 What is an Ohioan called who is respected, has brains, is well groomed, has money and is an all around gentleman? A mutation!! *** Who has a beard, wears a dirty white robe, and rides a pig? Lawrence of Ohio. *** What is the first thing an Ohioan does when he gets out of the shower?

E d" said the one. , 1 have free sex. '' ''No," said the first one, " But last week my wife won twice! " Why can't Ohio men cheat on their wives? They can't sign their names on the motel register! r •t Do you know what they call grave robbing in Ohio? Date night! " asked his friend. '' *** What do you get when you cross a gorilla and an Ohioan? A retarded gorilla!! *** Why can't Ohio girls give good head? They can't get their lips over the guy's ears! *** The Ohio couple were driving to Columbus.

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