Download The Last Detective Alive by John Swartzwelder PDF

By John Swartzwelder

One among a sequence of comedy/science fiction novels that includes slow-witted detective Frank Burly, by way of John Swartzwelder, the author of fifty nine episodes of The Simpsons.

(Unfortunately, no plot precis on hand wherever i will be able to locate. I'll write one after I've learn it.)

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T I I. I I ' Who was Susan Smith's driving teacher? Ted Kennedy. What is Susan Smith's favorite TV show? " What killed Jerry Garcia? Acid indigestion. 48 julius Alvin Hear about the new limo service OJ. is ing? ~ ran They'll get you to the airport with an hour tu kill. Why is OJ. moving to Alabama? The DNA is all the same. 's jacuzzi? Juror Number Seven. Why can't Ted Kennedy give blood? They can't get all the cocktail olives through the tubes. C.? Because a man who can't tell a lie isn't worth remembering.

That's downright impossible. " Sammy says, "I want that when I come home, my wife rips my clothes off, throws me down on the bed, and makes passionate Jove to me. " The genie replies, "Let's take another look at the Middle East map ... " UNBEARABLY GROSS JOKES 41 What do you call a mole on an Italian's ass? A brain tumor. What do you call a hundred Mexicans in a Volkswagen? A family reunion. Why don't Italians eat fleas? Because they can't get the fleas' little legs apart. How many Polacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A brain tumor. What do you call a hundred Mexicans in a Volkswagen? A family reunion. Why don't Italians eat fleas? Because they can't get the fleas' little legs apart. How many Polacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, one to screw it up. 42 julius Alvin The Polish guy laments to his friend, " My dog is pregnant. " his friend asks. " "What happens when a Polack gets Alzheimer's Disease? He gets smarter. What's the first thing a black woman says sex? " after UNBEARABLY GROSS JOKES 43 What's the difference between a Jewish American Princess and Jello?

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